Back To Loving Jesus

When I was younger, I always went to church. And when I got old enough, I even went to bible studies and youth groups. But once I got into playing sports and having games on weekends, I stopped going. I felt like sports was more important, and it wasn’t.

When I was a freshman, I tore all the ligaments in my knee playing softball for a travel team. I was really mad at God, because I was going to make it on varsity as a freshman. My interest in going to church and praying was at 0%. After my surgery I couldn’t play sports and that was my only outlet. My coping mechanism.

So, I turned to smoking weed and cigarettes. and it felt really good. A few months after my surgery I met someone that went to a different school than I did, and we started to hangout a lot. We slowly started to like each other and then he asked me to be his girlfriend. He wasn’t for my best interest, but I didn’t care.

We dated for 4 and a half years, and he really broke me. It got to a point where he was putting his hands on me and being dishonest and unloyal. After we were finally done, I was really depressed, I didn’t eat, or sleep. I would just cry and cry and cry. then I started to do pills, and I was really addicted to xanax and fentanyl. I overdosed three times, but I still wondered “how am I alive? Why didn’t I die? I really just wanna die.”

I got the help that I needed, and I started to love myself a lot again and I started to feel like me. And then I met the person I’m currently with. and he showed me what it is to be loved, and he got me back into loving Jesus and praying every day. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t love myself as much as I do now and I definitely wouldn’t be close with God again.

Hannah